Crisis
Bethany felt deeply wounded. She knew youth ministry would be tough, but had never imagined that some of the other church leaders would betray her trust on an important issue. She questioned her call to student ministry. She loved God and loved the teens, but the emotional arrows from fellow leaders hurt too much.
Bethany needed someone safe to talk to who — someone who understood ministry — but not from her local church. She did not want to even consider the options of absorbing the pain quietly, or quitting altogether.
Seeking Help
Bethany had been making some connections at her local youth ministers' network. She thought, "They might understand what she's dealing with!" She shared her hurt over a cup of coffee with a couple of other local youth leaders.
Honesty and tears led to prayer, encouragement, peace, and even some laughter. Eventually, she felt confident that she had a biblical plan to lovingly tackle the issue with grace and wisdom. It wasn't going to be easy, but she felt emboldened to move forward in God's leading down a difficult path.
She didn't need to quit or ignore the pain. Fortunately, she took the gutsy step of trusting others in her network. And it felt good to have that trust.
Overcoming Isolation
Bethany's story may be your story. In tough times, most youth leaders go into "Superman" mode, even though they are surrounded by 'kryptonite.' Much of the turnover in youth ministry is caused by youth leaders who are isolated. Bethany had the courage to reach out to other leaders in her crisis, and that comes back to relationships. Good relationships are the result of time spent + trust built.
Building Trust
A network can do a lot of good things, but building relationships is a foundational principle among all healthy ministry networks.
Developing trust within those relationships can be a bit tricky. Youth leaders need people who listen to them and come alongside them. And allowing the Holy Spirit to work though intentional times of prayer and sharing can help engender trust.
Iron Sharpens Iron
Doesn't that sound easy? The great thing is that doors of honesty and trust are blown open by taking time to share and pray. In some cases, the people praying together end up connecting further after a meeting or at another time entirely. Proverbs 27:17 talks about how "iron sharpens iron," but a key part of that is that the various irons MUST come into contact with each other in a very real way. By implementing intentional prayer and sharing into your network meetings, relationships can grow. And, it gives leaders like Bethany the courage to reach out in times of crisis.
Taking Action
How will you build trust into your network? Take a minute to think through how you can integrate praying and sharing into your time with other youth leaders. The "Interactive" below gives you a trusting building exercise to use with your network.
If you want to go deeper, please contact a coach through NNYM. We would love to help!
The "Happy/Unhappy" Exercise
The following is an exercise that many networks have found that helps build trust toward more healthy relationships.
At your network meeting, focus the conversation by breaking into small groups of two or three. Ask each person in each group to personally and briefly share two things:
- "Happy" (some way that God has been blessing them and/or their ministry)
- "Unhappy" (something that God has allowed to be a burden, making their ministry or life difficult or tough to process)
After each person shares, someone else immediately stops and prays for them briefly. Let groups know if there is a time limit.