Some experts have estimated that the average term a youth pastor stays at a church is 18 months. I'm not very good with math, but that appears to be more than one year and less than two.
Are you in youth ministry for a paycheck, for some good ministry experience, or as a "stepping stone" ministry? Are you trying to gain experience for another job as a "real pastor?"
I've had to ask myself these questions during my time as a youth pastor:
- Did I really go into youth ministry for the right reasons?
- Am I still in youth ministry for the right reasons?
- What are the "right" reasons?
Even after serving at the same church for seven years, I can easily fall into complacency and comfort and stay in youth ministry because it has become "easy" for me. However, the value of longevity in youth ministry is to develop real, authentic, and life-long relationships with students.
We should be more about the "youth" than the ministry!
Think about what it says to students for them to experience a new youth pastor every few years. That "18-month" statistic really bothers me - especially now. In my ministry, life change and trust only really starting happening about five years into my time with my students. They had experienced a number of transitional youth leaders before me. Today, what really matters and makes a difference to students is relationships. The kind of relationships that are genuine, sincere, authentic, and long-lasting.
And to be brutally honest, that's kind of hard to do in a year and a half!
Sometimes change must take place. Youth pastors are often forced out by external circumstances, pressures, financial worries, and a different calling from God. These can all be valid reasons to leave, but too many youth pastors use these as as a rationale to leave a difficult situation--when the reality is that after a year or two, youth ministry is simply not as fun or easy as they thought it would be.
I believe we should strive to stick with students during the messy, confusing, and troubling times of life.
Relationships + Longevity = Transformational Ministry
Celebrate with them through the fun, joyous, and wonderful moments. See them grow and mature from wacky, two-minute-attention-span middle school kids, to college students, husbands and wives, and future parents.
Remember, our goal should not only be to convert a 15-year-old teenager and get him or her to attend our meetings. Rather, it should be to encourage kids to continue following Jesus as adults.
We aim for 40-year-old Christ followers, not just 14-year-old ones.
If you build a ministry around yourself and your personality, it's likely that when you leave, so will your ministry. But if you build a ministry around a team, the ministry will continue on even if you leave.
In his book, No More Lone Rangers, David Chow writes, "Success is more about what happens after students leave the youth ministry than what they do while they're in the ministry." Rather than asking the question, "How many students are in my ministry?" the question should be, "Where will these students be ten years from now?"
But will we even be in their lives when they reach that age?
If possible, please stay involved in the lives of your former students. I remember talking to a friend and colleague of mine a few years back as he was heading out to Chicago for a wedding. When I asked whose wedding it was, he informed me it was a former student from his first youth group with whom he and his wife had stayed in contact over the years. He had not "officially" been this bride's youth pastor for more than 15 years, yet he was still invited to her wedding.
That inspired me, because this guy modeled how relationships are what youth ministry is all about.
I once heard a youth ministry veteran say that youth ministry only ceases to exist when the relationship stops.
I think my church has done a good job in student ministry up to the college years. However, we have little for the continuing spiritual formation of 18- to 30-year-olds. These are young men and women who have come up through the youth ministry, but a lack of ongoing mentoring and ministry in their young adult years can cause the growth that occurred while they were under our leadership to atrophy.
Some churches have great young adult pastors, and there is a wonderful transition of trust between the youth pastor and young adult pastor. But what happens when a church does not have that structure in place? Usually, the youth pastor steps in by default to do what she can, but is extremely limited due to all the other expectations, demands, and needs of her current students.
I wrestle with this dilemma, because I committed to the spiritual development of specific students (growth that doesn't stop with their middle school and high school years). I did not commit to "middle school students" in general. If I am committed to the students with whom God has entrusted me, then I will be committed to them for as long as the relationship can continue. These relationships can continue for decades.
Develop a passion for your community, church, and students. You will be less likely to want to move from place to place, and your effectiveness will greatly increase. If the time does come to move on, we must prepare our ministries for life-long relationships.
Your adult volunteers might well be the ones who will be around the longest. Having a "team approach" benefits the long-term ministry.
Teach and train them to do what you would do if you could be there for ten more years to come. That way, your students will have caring adults in their lives for the long haul, even if it's not you.
I started working towards replacing myself within the first three years of my ministry. With almost eight years of tenure, I am still working hard to leave the ministry in a better place when I leave.
I sincerely hope that my leaders, interns, and any staff I bring on will grow and expand the ministry well beyond what I did. I don't plan on leaving anytime soon, but I still believe working towards this end is healthy and effective.