For some, brokenness and ministry can seem to go hand in hand, and for many others, brokenness and ministry seem inseparable. Brokenness comes in many forms - emotional, spiritual, or even physical. It may be something we experience ourselves or vicariously as we walk alongside a deeply broken ministry friend.
Most likely, if a group was asked to define brokenness, the definitions would have some similarities. Whatever your definition is, have you considered, I mean really given thought to, how God views brokenness? Do you view brokenness only as negative? Is there a purpose? Where can brokenness lead? For most of us, we do not consider brokenness in the positive sense, because in reality, it is painful and something we want to avoid. However, brokenness, though difficult, can be beautiful. This can be a means to draw us closer to God. It brings an opportunity to become more like Christ in each area of our lives. Brokenness takes people to a point of desperation. Decisions during that time can change the trajectory of a person's life. How we respond to friends and ministry partners who are experiencing brokenness will be forever etched in their human minds. Do we respond with compassion or judgement? Do we reach out to them or do we distance ourselves?
In our personal brokenness, do we lean into our faith and relationship with Christ or do we allow ourselves to pause, even live, in the pain to a point of becoming embittered? At times, people will approach brokenness from a try harder mentality that only leads to a deeper sense of pain. Moving from brokenness to healing requires humility and vulnerability. Though God knows our hearts, we need to humbly admit our shortcomings, weaknesses, and areas of pain. God knew the brokenness that David would experience after his sin with Bathsheba and knew the pain Nathan felt in recognizing David's brokenness. David learned the importance of admitting sin and acknowledging brokenness as an essential part of his journey to healing and drawing closer to God. An essential piece in our own brokenness is intentionally seeking restoration in our relationship with God. For our friends, it is praying this step becomes part of their journey, not condemning or shaming them. Far too often, Christians step into a place of judgement and shaming rather than grace and support. I want to be a person who understands the grace and truth of Christ and communicates that in a loving, tender way. The reality is judgment and shame do not co-exist with grace and truth.
Lord, help us avoid judgement and shame. May our hearts be so filled with your love that it overflows from within us to those who need it most.
If you are in a place of personal brokenness:
- Pray.
- Be fully honest with yourself and a trustworthy friend who has your best interest in mind.
- Consider seeing a trusted professional counselor - don't go through this alone.
- Pray more-this may involve simply being still and listening, focusing on God's deep love for mankind.
If your friend or colleague is in the midst of brokenness:
- Be someone who can be trusted to connect with a spirit of love and grace, not judgment and shame. Be willing to simply be present and hold space with this person experiencing brokenness.
- Pray.
- Listen more than you speak.
- Pray even more.
Written By:
Jama Davis, Ph.D.
Licensed Counselor, Clinical Supervisor, and Associate Professor, Liberty University