I'm a "words of affirmation" guy. Always have been. It's actually kind of sad how far a compliment goes with me. So when I received a jar of notes from the people in my church about the little things they appreciate about me, you can just imagine the impact. Yep. I was mush and uplifted all at the same time.
This gesture from my students, team and families was a chance to reflect on how grateful I am to be among a body of believers that values youth and values my contribution. In fact, I would say during my time at all four of the churches I have served, I have felt respected.
However, I've walked alongside many leaders where this is not the case.
The Mixed Reality of Pastor Appreciation for Youth Leaders: Unspoken Love or Overlooked Role?
Pastor Appreciation month can always be a mixed bag for youth leaders. For some, it's an annual time of the year that has served as an avenue to flush out unspoken love. For others, it exposes the fact that their congregation doesn't see them as a pastor.
I'm not here to debate who's deserving of encouragement. I am here to paint a picture of the haunting questions that go through many youth leaders' minds, and how your encouragement can assuage their self-doubt.
How Your Words Can Silence the Self-Doubt of Youth Leaders
Am I Making a Lasting Impact?
The weight of invisible results continues to be the most haunting voice in every youth leader's heart.
We are tasked to walk alongside students from the commencement of abstract thinking (middle school) to the point of their first major life decision (post-high school). We're slogging through some messy years with these teens!
And yet, while we may see glimpses of progress during those years, the real proof of our investment is how committed these young people are to Jesus in their mid 20s and beyond. Many times we don't get to see who they become. Worse yet, sometimes we see it and we grieve.
Your encouraging words when you point to specific impact bolster our resolve to invest in the next generation now.
Do I Belong or Am I Just Hired Help?
Money elevates expectations-there's no way around that. But I can't help but think there are plenty of youth leaders who feel their acceptance in the church is purely transactional. Paid leaders know they're valued as long as they're deemed useful. Once they're not... well, "God's will" has a funny way of transitioning people out of their roles.
The struggle for true acceptance is just that, a struggle. Taking the time to get to know your youth leader personally, investing in a genuine relationship, and including them in events outside of ministry can go a long way in affirming their place in your church family.
Can I Be Vulnerable Without Fear?
Too often, the Church is called "a hospital for sinners, not a Hall of Fame for saints." Yet, for many paid staff, it feels like the fine print says, "This doesn't apply to you."
I understand there's a standard for leadership. And yes, there are situations where sin requires leaders to step down. But I wonder if the Church could avoid some public failures by creating more grace-filled spaces, allowing leaders to work through their struggles without fear of being exposed or cast aside.
Be intentional about creating safe spaces for genuine transparency, even for leadership. Advocate for a workplace that celebrates growth, practices forgiveness, and pursues restoration when necessary.
Am I a Shepherd or a Sitter?
Youth leaders often wonder: "Does my leadership and student families see me as someone standing before God on behalf of these students?"
We view our work like Moses standing before God, pleading for His people. Our focus is on an entire generation, constantly going before the Lord to seek guidance on how to reach more kids and disciple them effectively.
Yet, youth leaders will always wrestle with whether they are seen as God-ordained leaders, entrusted with the spiritual care of young people, or simply as convenient childcare workers filling a temporary role.
When you take the time to point to the spiritual impact a leader is having on students, or simply recognize that leader's posture as a spiritual guide, it speaks to your trust and support of their faithfulness in their call to shepherd students.
Fuel for the Soul: Strengthening Youth Leaders through Affirmation
My purpose in sharing these thoughts isn't to invite a pity party for youth leaders.
Our job is awesome! Teens are awesome!
There are so many adults who respect what we do and join us in praying that this generation will know Jesus in a way like no other before. If that's you, THANK YOU!
What I'm saying is this: your encouraging words can quiet those insecure thoughts that haunt many youth leaders.
One text message can be a salve to a hurting soul. One acknowledgment of a youth leader's impact can give them the strength to keep going for another month. One gift card might be the much-needed break for a leader and their spouse.
A community that excels in encouraging its leaders will undoubtedly extend their years of service. So this month, take a moment to thank the youth leaders who are pouring out their lives for teens.
It will mean more to them than you know.
"Better is open rebuke than hidden love." Proverbs 27:5