Understanding Cutting and Other Self Injury Behavior
In March, the Chattanooga (Tenn.) Youth Network hosted a new event with youth leaders focused on the issues related to "self injury behavior" (SIB). The leaders live in a community where several suicides had recently taken place. Our hope when we present on topics like these is that we would be helping youth leaders, parents, teachers and students to "Notice and Navigate the Evidence to Teens in Crisis."
The staff of CYN also had the opportunity to share "CRUMBS 2.0 - Self Injury" in late April to over 500 area middle school students and faculty members. The focus this was on self injury - mainly the eraser game (or as these students call it…"the sissy game") and cutting.
Eight sessions with 50-60 students each from 9:00 a.m. to 2:30 p.m. were focused on helping students and teachers get a sense of what drives someone to injure themselves. One concept that I spent a lot of our time unpacking was the idea that our skin is both a boundary and a billboard.
"The psychology (what we know and understand about the mind and soul) and the anthropology (what we know about the body and people) of Self Injury Behavior (SIB) are important to consider. The skin is the ultimate boundary between the self and others and serves as our message center or billboard. For example, blushing, tears, cosmetics, piercings and tattoos can communicate information to others. SIB can serve as a symptomatic remedy, commemorative wound, symbolic, self punishment or cry for help and attention."
If our skin is a boundary then it must be there to protect us or others from something. That is what a boundary is for. To protect the content within the boundary and often to protect what is outside of that boundary. We lock our doors at night to keep the bad guys out. We fence our yards to keep our barking dogs from running free and scaring our neighbors. Our skin is there to protect us.
God made us so intricately that he would also have our skin serve as a message center or a billboard for us. It is constantly announcing to the world how we are really doing. Tears, smiles, grimaces, or blushing all announce to others a message that we want or need sent. Tattoos and piercings are ways we use the skin to send a message as well. Self Injury announces something to others that needs to be both noticed with confidence and navigated with compassion.
Four percent of the population is involved in self Injury; whether it is cutting, burning, hair pulling, nail biting, bone breaking, punching objects or their body. Many would be tempted to think that "they must not care very much about themselves if they do that kind of thing." In fact, the opposite is true. It's that they care far too much might be the real problem.
A cutter generally struggles with deep-seated self hatred, anger, sadness or frustration. Cutting becomes a means of expression and dealing with these emotions. Here is what a friend of ours who struggled with self injury had to say
"My wife and I both had personal experience with self injury. Mine had more to do with hating my mom. Amy was more about hating herself. The common theme is that somehow self-destruction becomes a path. Somewhere in there for all of us is a deep shame. I think those deep messages that say "not that you DID something wrong, but you ARE something wrong"—are sometimes what we are trying to dig out, or cut out."
So how do we help someone who is struggling with self injury?
1. Notice with confidence - Learn the warning signs.
2. Navigate with compassion - Lean in with loving intent.
The bottom line is that students and adults need to A.C.T.
Acknowledge - Acknowledge that your friend has a problem.
Care - Let the person know you are concerned and want to help.
Tell - Tell a trusted adult.
If you'd like to learn more from someone at Chattanooga Youth Network, contact them at info@theyouthnetwork.org or call (423) 961-8071.