1985. Gas was under a dollar, Reagan was president, and the Goonies were saving the day.
That same year, we graduated, got married, and began our ministry journey.
Over four decades later, we've learned that love and ministry aren't just about the big moments,they're about daily routines, shared victories, and serving side by side.
Loving Each Other, Serving Jesus
From the outset of our friendship and romantic journey, our conversations were about Jesus and youth ministry. Janet and I both knew that God had placed a desire in our hearts to serve Him as we serve students.
I will be honest: I am who I am because of my wife. I cannot imagine having done ministry without her. Yes, we each had our roles, but the camaraderie, wisdom, and mutual blessings we've shared are better than any Hallmark Christmas movie.
And speaking of Hallmark movies-those plots are all about the pursuit. Marriage and ministry? We're living in the middle, past the "kids and credits," and finding God in the everyday.
Serving Together, Laughing Together
Aquila and Priscilla are the only couple in Scripture explicitly shown serving together, joining "Team Paul" in Jesus's mission. Janet and I have experienced firsthand the joy of serving side by side, both in classrooms and with students.
And yes, there are hilarious moments! One summer, we took students to Cedar Point, Ohio, including a new middle school boy. Midafternoon, the park's loudspeaker called me to the security office. There he was, caught shoplifting.
As he pled, "I've changed my ways! I've changed my ways!" Janet and I couldn't help but laugh. Even decades later, we still say it to each other. You had to be there, but that's ministry life: unexpected, messy, and memorable.
The Gift of Flexibility
Ministry hours can be long, but the schedule offers surprising flexibility. I cherished the times Janet dropped by my office, especially as our children grew. Coffee, lunch, or a quick chat. It didn't take long, but it was always a sweet, unexpected blessing.
This flexibility also allowed us to serve our family: school events, medical appointments, or simply being present. These ordinary moments often became some of the sweetest blessings of ministry life.
Watching Each Other Shine
We all have different strengths, tactical or relational,but there's something deeply rewarding about seeing your spouse use their gifts. I loved watching Janet mentor small groups of students with heart and grace. Later, she led summer camps, managing 120 students and 25 leaders with excellence.
Her leadership didn't stop there. Today, as chair of her department at a Christian university, she oversees more than 500 students and 20 faculty members. Watching her thrive has been inspiring, humbling, and joyful. And honestly? I think it all goes back to student ministry.
Modeling a Godly Marriage
Serving together isn't just about ministry. It's a chance to model a healthy, Christ-centered marriage. Students have told us they hope for marriages like ours. Even our children now serve faithfully in youth ministry, raising their kids in a context of faith and service.
The biggest lesson? Ministry marriage isn't just about tasks. It's about shaping lives, modeling love, and leaving a lasting impact on those around us.
Celebrating the Everyday
Our story isn't about perfection; it's about faithfulness, partnership, and joy in the ordinary. Whether laughing at middle school mishaps or celebrating small ministry victories, we've learned to find God in the everyday.
Serving alongside your spouse is one of the richest blessings of life. And often, it's the daily grind, the routine moments, the small victories, the shared laughter, that reveal it most.
Dr. Richard Brown, Jr. is the Founder and President of NextGenMatters, an organization focused on equipping leaders who serve the next generation. He and his wife, Dr. Janet Brown, have served in youth ministry, higher education, and local church leadership for over four decades, modeling faith, partnership, and Christ-centered service.
