Keeping Our Youth From Jesus

During a recent Sunday worship service, I witnessed something that both warmed my heart, and left me asking myself an unusual, but important question: Are we hindering our children and youth from coming to Jesus?

During the music, I looked over to my left where an eight-month-old girl, held in her mother's arms, was clapping and bouncing along to the music. What struck me was the sheer joy reflected in the smile of her face and the innocent spirit of worship she had as she bounced, twisted and wiggled around to the beat. Her mother smiled and marveled at the sight of her daughter praising God.

A quick side note: Whether or not this little girl was actually worshipping or not I realize could be debated. I'm sure that sociologists would explain that the child is simply responding to the music and vibrations. However, my heart told me otherwise as I watched, knowing that this little girl was soaking up the presence of Jesus.

Just as a contagious smile began to creep across my own face, there was another child further down to my left who also caught my eye. This young boy was older, probably two or three, but his response was the same. With a huge smile on his face and having the time of his life, he bounced, danced, and jumped around as the music played.

As my heart was touched and moved by these children's gift of worship, something happened to make it came to a halt. The mother of the older boy had finally taken notice of what he was doing and, unlike the little girl's mom, she didn't appreciate it and quickly had him settle down. My heart sank as I watched this mother grab her son, scold him lightly and pull him back to his seat.

Now this is not meant to be a criticism of the parent, and I am sure she had her reasons. Someone I talked to about this said she thought the mom was concerned about the communion elements being knocked over, which was valid. But as I watched, I couldn't help but think about the story in the gospels in which the disciples rebuked the children who wanted to come and see Jesus.

"Little children were brought to Jesus for him to place his hands on them and pray for them. But the disciples rebuked those who brought them. Jesus said, 'Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these'" (Matthew 19:13-14; also found in Mark 10:13-14 and Luke 18:15-16).

That's when the thought hit me: Are we hindering our children from coming to Jesus? And if so, how are we hindering them?

I admit that in my mind, I cast judgment upon this parent and felt sad for what that boy just learned about worship. After a second though, God quickly flipped my judgment around and the issue became personal.

"How are YOU hindering the children from coming to Me?" God asked.

This is not a fun question to have presented to you, but the importance and depth of it is essential to the spiritual growth of our children and adolescents, whether we are parents, mentors, volunteers or youth workers.

Personally, I believe that this young generation has a strong hunger for God and for all things spiritual. But this hunger manifests itself differently from previous generations. Admittedly, I am only 25, and that some would argue that I am part of the younger generation. But thankfully, I am not alone in this assessment.

Becky Tirabassi, founder of Burning Hearts, Inc., recently published an article along these lines in Christianity Today (do an Internet search for "Young, Restless, and Ready for Revival"). Students "are longing for, begging for, older Christians to be solid spiritual mentors and parents to them, to pray powerfully for and with them. They don't need more programs. They want prayer and revival for their generation," wrote Tirabassi.

Check out the books They Love Jesus but Not the Church by Dan Kimball or UnChristian by David Kinnaman and Gabe Lyons. Both have a number of stories and research that claims that the younger generation really wants to know Jesus and is hungry for spiritual things. Just look into the growing market for resources on contemplative ministry and an emphasis on meditative or monastic spiritual disciplines. Sadly though, the roadblock to authentic relationship with Christ has come from the church, not the world.

Our young people are hungry for God, but what are we giving them to satisfy their hunger? Many of us measure success based on numerical attendance or the enjoyment that the kids get from our programs or events. But what if our programs or attitudes are actually hindering kids from having a deep, personal, and profound relationship with Jesus Christ? What are ways that we hinder our youth?

• By putting too much effort on entertaining our youth, so that they learn to be consumer Christians.
• By teaching them, explicitly or not, that worship equals singing, when it is so much more, and so much deeper.
• By overwhelming their schedules when they are already overwhelmed.
• By underestimating what they are capable of doing and understanding.
• By focusing too much on either righteousness (the spiritual, personal faith) or justice (the communal, outward, others-oriented faith), when they are one and the same.
• By having a top-down mentality instead of coming alongside them.

These are just a few ideas of how we could be hindering our children from coming to Jesus. Jesus has His arms outstretched to the kids in our youth ministries, wanting to bless them and hold them. More than ever, our children want to run to Jesus. We need to stop and think critically about how we might be getting in the way!

This is not meant to be intended to discourage you, but to open a conversation between you and God, your leadership team, and your kids. Personally, I think this is exciting and an opportunity to make our ministry even better.

At the 2008 National Youth Workers Convention in Pittsburgh, Phyllis Tickle shared  that we are at the dawn of a new outlook on faith and Christianity. She claimed that this upcoming generation will be shaping what the Christian faith will look like for the next 500 years.

If this is right, this means that we who are shaping and pouring into these young people must think critically and prayerfully about our ministries and whether or not we are truly leading kids to Jesus - or toward a different kind of faith.