I Didn't Want the Chaos
In college, I once said, "I don't want to marry a youth minister." Their lifestyle felt messy, complicated, and incompatible with the college ministry rhythm I loved.
Looking back, I see I wasn't resisting a person; I was resisting the mess.
Thankfully, from the very beginning, God never avoided chaotic situations. Instead, He enters into them.
God Works Where Life Feels Messy
In Genesis, when the earth was formless and empty, the Spirit of God hovered over the chaos, ready to create something good. He was an artist poised over a blank canvas, ready to create a masterpiece.
In six days, the Creator turned a void into a beautiful home where life and purpose could begin with Him, a pattern that's echoed throughout Scripture. God knew better than to leave me in comfort. Instead, He invited me to enter into a new, ill-fitting lifestyle so I could become the person He intended me to be.
Through this, I learned that obedience matters more than comfort. Messes don't feel pleasant, but that's often where God does His best work.
Saying Yes When It's Hard
A few years after declaring I didn't want to marry a youth minister, God introduced me to one I couldn't imagine living life without in Steve Cullum. He felt like all my best friends wrapped into one devoted servant of Christ.
At the time, he was interning at a local church and invited me to serve alongside him. Even though I was comfortable in college ministry and not looking for a new volunteer position, I was willing to give it a try. I quickly fell in love with student ministry, and with Steve.
One night during youth group, overwhelmed by a gym full of students, I prayed, "God, how do we reach them all?" I felt Him answer, "Together." At that moment, I knew God was calling me to continue serving teenagers alongside Steve.
On January 3, 2009, I walked down the aisle in a white satin gown and said "I do" to the love of my life and yes to ministry life.
Serving Side-by-Side Through Life's Mess
From dating to marriage, we have served side-by-side through mission trips, camps, baptisms, and countless overnighters. We've watched students grow from middle schoolers to God-fearing adults, and along the way, their families became our family.
By doing ministry together, we shared joys and burdens. When students struggled, our hearts ached; when they rejoiced, we celebrated. Life in youth ministry didn't always feel comfortable though. We had seasons where we were drained, overlooked, and exhausted, but we had each other and our God to lean on.
Finding Rhythm in Ministry and Marriage
Today, ministry looks different. Steve is now the NNYM Colorado Coordinator, and our paths don't overlap as closely as they once did. Still, we remain intentional about finding ways to serve together.
We're both on our church's teaching team and volunteer at events, though many days God calls us to different parts of the state, country, or world. Wherever He places us, we support one another through encouragement and prayer. Ministry can be heavy, but being evenly yoked makes the burden lighter and the joy deeper.
Loving and Leading in the Same Direction
Steve's love for God and others has preached a quiet sermon throughout my adult life. As I fall more in love with Jesus, I fall more in love with my partner in life and ministry. Younger me didn't yet know the joy of sharing the Gospel with a sixth grader, baptizing a high schooler, or witnessing the devotion of my best friend. God did, and it made all the difference.
Through every season, God continues to refine our calling as a couple, reminding us that obedience matters more than comfort. Whether we're serving hand-in-hand or states apart, our "yes" to God and each other remains anchored in faith, hope, and love.
Messes Make Masterpieces
Serving alongside my spouse has been one of the sweetest gifts of my life. If it's not one of the sweetest gifts of yours, I believe it can be.
God often does His best work in the mess and chaos of life. He brings light to darkness and springs up gardens from the void. May His purpose for you and your spouse far exceed what you can imagine.
Yvette Cullum is a writer, speaker, and longtime youth ministry leader who has served students and families alongside her husband, Steve. She is passionate about helping couples embrace God's calling, especially when it feels messy or uncomfortable.
