How Do YOU Network?

Recently I had the pleasure of meeting up with a few guys from the Marshfield, Wisconsin youth ministry network. The candor and honesty in the group was refreshing! I could tell after a few minutes into the network meeting that these guys have a healthy network because of the jovial nature, honest sharing and humble leadership that I observed.

Upon first blush, I wondered what added value Life Promotions (the ministry I work for) or the National Network of Youth Ministries (I serve as Wisconsin state coordinator) would be able to offer these guys. A twinge of frustration crept in my conscience as I know a well-running network sometimes seems to have more to offer than it needs to receive. The reason it continues to haunt me is because I have had this conversation before with other network leaders from around the country who are befuddled with this situation as well.

Balance Relationships and Strategy

I believe that networks like the one in Marshfield cannot keep their healthiness a secret from other local networks! Others need to learn more about their healthy balance of relationship and strategy.

Many youth workers in larger communities are not willing to put more time in networking, because they have so many ministries to run – priorities set by the folks who sign their paychecks. Programs to run can represent the "tyranny of the urgent," as many of us have learned.

While there isn't much we can do about that, there is something Daniel – one of the guys in Marshfield – said that continues to stick with me. "The highlight of my week was hanging out for breakfast with the other guys (youth workers) after we cleaned up."

Daniel is a very busy youth worker who has over a hundred kids in his student ministry. He is very quick to say that he cannot spend more time than a couple of hours a month towards the network. However I think what we discerned was that networking is not just strategy and doing things together, but creating a climate in our communities where the youth workers genuinely love each other and are comfortable in their skin around each other.

Overcoming Stereotypes

Using a railroad tracks analogy,* Daniel said that he believes that the first track that needs to be laid down is the relationship piece because, he asked,  "How do you work with others whom you don't trust?"

For example, Daniel and Andy did not get along well for a long while when the Youth For Christ – which Andy pioneered – was started in their town. They each had negative preconceptions about one another due to various stereotypes that are common to church-parachurch relationships. "What it took was Andy calling me up and saying, 'We need to talk.'" When they met and aired their grievances, the stereotypes broke down and a friendship was born!

Stereotypes and assumptions can be a serious issue that rear their ugly head and choke out networking relationships. We don't like the way the other person dresses, wears their hair, carries out their ministry or how big their group is. I believe this kind of attitude grieves the Holy Spirit greatly!

These arguments remind me of what I found in Matthew 18:1-35. When the disciples ask, "Who is the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven?," Jesus seized this opportunity to teach the disciples about humility. "I tell you the truth, unless you turn around and become like little children, you will never enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this little child is the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven." (18:3-5)

One of the things I learned from a former student, who now attends Wheaton College as a theology major, was that Jesus pointed to a little child because children had no value in the culture of their day. Helicopter moms with coddled trophy children were non-existent in Jesus' day, because children were considered second-class people who had nothing to offer.

Leave Our Egos and Logos at the Door

When we go to a network meeting, we need to go with an attitude of humility, treating those around that table with the knowledge that they have been made in the glorious image of God. When we start feeling jealous about others around the table we can begin to tear them down so that we can feel more significant. Jesus goes on to say "Woe to the world because of stumbling blocks! It is necessary that stumbling blocks come, but woe to the person through whom they come." (verse 7)

While we need to acknowledge that stumbling blocks will come, woe to us if we are the ones causing others to stumble about something as important as unity! I believe unity in the church was on Christ's mind as he was sweating blood in the garden of Gethsemane, praying for you and me just before he was taken away to be crucified.

That's why the youth workers in Marshfield are on to something. It's not the cool programming they do, or how many kids are in their ministries, but because they value humility and see each other as fellow image-bearers of God.

I am reminded of a statement my friend Diane Brask made: "I don't follow a leader unless they have a limp." The good youth workers of Marshfield are networking with health because they aren't afraid of their limp!

 *A healthy network if sometimes illustrated as running on two rails: relationship (who we are, expressed in prayer, fellowship, accountability, etc.) and strategy (what we do in collaboration as a result of the trust developed in those relationships).