Circle Takes The Square

"We are better together. Circles are better than rows."  

 

It's a slogan that has been plastered all over the windows at my church and fronted on super-stylish and not-so-stylish T-shirts. 

 

As a youth ministry leader, I can spot a small group campaign, and I know who the target is: other people in our churches. 

 

Yeah! It's those folks who need to get themselves into small groups! 

 

I preach the slogan to our students, and I eagerly support our senior pastor in their efforts to reinvigorate Sunday school or life groups. But when the times comes, I push my chair back and remove myself from the opportunity to circle up. 

 

As a youth pastor, I am the *least* likely to be a part of a small group or discipleship circle. Small groups aren't for pastors; they are for congregational Christians," I say.  "That's what the unpaid members of our community love to do," I whisper aloud to myself. In this way, I create a miserable distance. I box myself in and box others out from being near enough to me to know me, to help me, to love me. 

 

So, because we are youth ministry peers, I thought we could take a moment to meme this conversation.

 

 

It's a fun meme from 2018 that reminds us that whatever "protec" also might "attac" but still has even one more purpose!

 

Circles protec

I get why a lot of church leaders reject the notion of having a tight-knit, fully transparent circle of people around them.  When people know your stuff or your business, lesser-caring folks are able to leverage your "stuff" against you. Sometimes these become the circles that are as likely to tighten around you like a noose, and threaten you with your own transparent truth.

 

But the right kind of circle comprised of loving, kind-minded peer ministry leaders would not view you this way.  Your failings, misgivings, and weaknesses are not meant to be hidden from everyone; you can bring these things to a trusted circle. 

 

Ministry friends who know and care for each other see every truth-sharing moment as an opportunity for trust and growth. 

 

People can't pray with you, support you, and love you through what they don't know about you. Your circle should work to protect you in the right ways. 

 

Circles Attac 

Having a tight-knit circle of peers means you are open enough to receive healthy criticism. 

 

Everyone should have a circle of people whose opinions and critiques they value, but are not in a position to hold their jobs over their heads. 

 

At Youth Ministry Booster, this is our "authority without seniority" principle. It means that fellow members of our Masterminds are given authority to ask and critique one another. We aren't employing each other, so we can't fire each other. Imagine if you could have tough two-way talks with your senior leadership, but nobody's job is on the line. 

 

This is the kind of rugged and sharpened accountability that is missing from so many circles. This is the small group anemia of all-filler talk with no accountability. 

 

But most importantly, Circles prevents the wrec

Tighten up your Circle. Ask yourself which of your friends in ministry not only like you but want the very best for you. 

 

It has often been said that we are the average of the five people whom we give the most time to. So put yourself around the people you want to be like the most. The higher quality of caring people, who are imitable and wise, will produce in us a better quality of leader. Don't just put your favorite people around you (by giving them all your time); put the people around you whom you want to be like. 

 

They will become the guardrails of wisdom and a life of ministry lived out, full of inspiration and aspiration.  Let the best people in before you feel spun out, undone, burned out, or tapped out. 

 

Memes aside, the notion of having a surrounding circle of fellow ministry leaders predates the Internet. Even Jesus' circle of 12 disciples had an inner circle. 

 

So, Circle up your digital chairs and make enough time to hear and share what God is doing in the lives of others like you. 

 

See that you are not alone.

Pray for the failing courage of another. 

Find forgiveness in the failures.

Give grace to another's struggles.

Receive permission to be human and not just a pastor. 

Believe that discipleship starts first in the hearts of those who lead.  

 

Acout the author:

Zac Workun is excited to bring the energy to every room. He is the co-founder of Youth Ministry Booster, a podcast and membership network that helps youth ministry leaders stay encouraged and equipped for the tough and important work of ministering. He is all about that Enneagram 7 & ENFP life, which just means he is ready to hug you and affirm your biggest life goals.

Zac is a graduate of Oklahoma Baptist University and Duke Divinity (M.Div.). Zac is a voracious reader, avid gamer, novice writer, car-camper, folk musician, black coffee-drinker, and beard aficionado. He and his wife Karen enjoy finding new local foodie restaurants and exploring the awesome playgrounds with their two boys, Isaiah and Gideon.

Find him on social media: @zacworkun or @youthministrybooster